Life Happens

No, I have not been eaten by wolves and left to dry on the tundra in the form of hard, black droppings which will eventually petrify and then be discovered by a troop of scientists in some God-forsaken future who will then discard them while muttering, "Just some fucking screenwriter..." And, no, I have not come out of the closet and moved to Key West, although the thought has entered my mind now and again.

However, I have been very busy enjoying everything life has to offer, such as waking up in the morning and discovering that, indeed, I have not been eaten by wolves; that my body is whole and healthy and that, one day, if I continue along this thankless path, I can look forward to becoming petrified shit.

That being said, I have absolutely nothing of value to tell you, as usual. Instead, here are some examples of the best the Internet has to offer, culled from months of intense scrutiny, hour after hour of back-breaking, soul-losing, mind-putrefying, cross-dressing procrastination.

Okay! Jesus. I'm still stuck on Act 2, all right?

Now, go WRITE. For the love of God! You don't want to end up frozen in a state of perpetual nothingness reduced to a pile of wolf droppings that look like something but are really not that interesting. See? Because you wasted your valuable time reading blogs like this.