Life Happens

No, I have not been eaten by wolves and left to dry on the tundra in the form of hard, black droppings which will eventually petrify and then be discovered by a troop of scientists in some God-forsaken future who will then discard them while muttering, "Just some fucking screenwriter..." And, no, I have not come out of the closet and moved to Key West, although the thought has entered my mind now and again.

However, I have been very busy enjoying everything life has to offer, such as waking up in the morning and discovering that, indeed, I have not been eaten by wolves; that my body is whole and healthy and that, one day, if I continue along this thankless path, I can look forward to becoming petrified shit.

That being said, I have absolutely nothing of value to tell you, as usual. Instead, here are some examples of the best the Internet has to offer, culled from months of intense scrutiny, hour after hour of back-breaking, soul-losing, mind-putrefying, cross-dressing procrastination.

Okay! Jesus. I'm still stuck on Act 2, all right?

Now, go WRITE. For the love of God! You don't want to end up frozen in a state of perpetual nothingness reduced to a pile of wolf droppings that look like something but are really not that interesting. See? Because you wasted your valuable time reading blogs like this.

Men in Diapers...

Yes, well. It's been a while. I know. Oh, how I know...

Boring Sunday. So I took my Kodak out for the annual men-in-diaper fest downtown.

Not sure how this would do on the "this is interesting and somewhat funny" scale, but I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you all. (Are you still out there, may I ask?)

Think about it. An entire town devotes one day out of the year to celebrate adult incontinence, specifically males afflicted with the malady. Isn't it just grand?

Oopsy. This last one was actually an Abu Ghraib photo from the notorious collection. For the life of me, I don't know how that slipped in.

Come back soon... Maybe... If you dare... When I'm totally bored out of my skull and have something to share. Which is not very often, I know. But isn't that what makes life so unpredictable and fun?

My Favorite Albums...

No blog of this kind would be complete without the obligatory post of memorable album covers. Here are the best from my extensive collection.

Come take a walk with me down memory lane. Perhaps some of these will spark wonderful recollections about a time in your life when things were simpler, sweeter and, yes, happier.

Look there, on the left...isn't that the spot where you had your first kiss with Cindy behind the ice cream stand at the fair?

Let's take this flower lined path now...Oh, could it be? Yes! Your dad's 1979 Caprice Classic. The one you drove Mary-Lou to the prom with. What a car! What a prom! What a blow job!

And there's that song again...La...La...Dee...La... Oh that bittersweet melody... That pang in your heart... Ahhhh. Every time it plays, that same feeling comes over you again, doesn't it? Wasn't it wonderful?... The day your best buddy's mom, Mrs. Silvester, made you that cool, refreshing lemonade after you mowed her lawn. You, sweaty and hot from the sweltering heat of an August afternoon. Taut muscles throbbing with tension...bursting with youthful vigor...craving the soothing touch of a female hand... What a hand job!

Ok, now that I've got myself all worked up, let's move on to the album covers.

I don't often open my private collection to strangers. This stuff is personal. Very personal.

Enjoy if you must...

Now here's the deal: You guys show your appreciation by leaving a few comments and I'll post more of these gems. You ignore me, and you can fugeddaboutit.