The pressure to put something new up on the blog has been so intense that I am forced to go to press with some out-takes from my last post on Steve Reeves. You brought this upon yourselves.
And I must apologize if this is not up to par with my usually brilliant musings , but Olaf, The Harry Houdini of the Scribosphere, gave me no choice.
Any Steve Reeves fan will tell you that this one-of-a-kind photo of the legendary body builder shortly after his disastrous gender-reassignment operation is priceless.
It was only by some miracle that the doctors were able to reverse it!
The photo came into my possession through an irreputable Turkish fine art dealer, a collector of 19th century gynecological instruments and obscure memorabilia of famous people who have undergone the procedure.
Some of the more noteable luminaries he has in his collection:
Prince Charles after he became Camilla Parker Bowles, Jay Leno previously known as Rosita Alonsa de Montoya y Pérez de las Altas Maricón por Favor from Tijuana, Bebe Doc Duvalier who became Catherine Deneuve, Roman Polanski now going by the name of Audrey Tautou, and Tom Hanks who co-stars with her in the upcoming blockbuster, Da DaVinci Ting. No, he has not had a sex change operation and what's up with the hair, Tom?
Perhaps the logo over the Mr. Olympia is too small to read. It says, "The Arnold Schwarznegger Italian Fan Club" of which I am the founder and director. If you're interested in joining, just email me through the blog and I will ignore your request. I have nothing else to add to this caption other than to acknowledge, yes, this is getting old.
More Reeves trivia: Did you know Steve supplemented his income as a chiropractor? The above treatment known as the "Thorax Aligner", which he pioneered, gained him fame during the 1968 Chiropractors Convention in Reykjavik. The man pictured in the photo receiving Steve's delicate attention is no other than Stephen Hawking before his affliction turned him into a mollusk.
This photo of Lou Ferrigno needs no caption.
This is what happens when you leave your Joe Weider protein supplement lying around the house.
Gluteus, pictured above, was left alone for the weekend and feasted on Steve's 50 gallon jar of Mega Mass 4000 which he carelessly left open.
Sadly, this is the result of Steve's attempt to save his trusted feline friend after he administered several MeltRx 24 Ultra diet pills perscribed by the vet.
For the love of God! Please keep your muscle builders under lock and key so your pet doesn't suffer the same fate!
It seems posting pictures of the family has become a tradition on this blog.
Hundreds of emails (mostly suggesting that I discharge both barrels of a Beretta Silver Hawk model 471 EL shotgun into my mouth) attest to the fact that people would rather see photos of blonde lesbians in the throes of unbridled sexual passion, but I will leave that task to Vince DC who seems to have become quite the Scribosphere legend with his effective use of the practice.
Anyway, that will have to wait till next time.
I seem to have overloaded the Blogger servers as they are not allowing me to upload any more images.
Fuck them.
I'm tired anyway and this whole blogging experiment is taxing my nerves.
More when I get around to it.
Now let me see some comments!
10 comments:
Getting bored now of the word verification now, but is there any danger of your next post (sometime in the fall) being a tribute to Olaf Legend? Olaf is great.
I dont think that Olaf really looks like his fotos. He is a spunk I reckon and you need to get hold of some body shots.
Anyone else want to see more of spunky Olaf?????
Yes I agree, "Anonymous". Olaf is great. I can hardly stand being in the light that emanates from his blog. And look at all these comments from him! My hair is practically being ripped out by the roots from the gale that's roaring out of my computer screen from them! Mighty words from a mighty mind.
Fall? Oh, I don't expect it will take me that long, he-he. That's a joke, right, Olaf -- I mean, anonymous? You're trying to pressure me again, is that it? Worked once, don't expect it to work again. I am a busy man with little time for this nonsense. My purpose is served when I know I have dashed another hapless screenwriter's hopes by ridiculing his existence.
As for word verification, shall I switch to comment moderation so I can irritate my readers as much as Olaf does?
Oh, great! Enzio Pesta is bugging me about the girlie photos too.
Look, my blog was meant to be mostly funny stuff to relieve some of the pressure that results from staring at your keyboard for hours with your hands frozen into useless claws of frustration. I made a mistake and succumbed to my baser instincts. Don't blame me for being human -- a pervert, yes -- a dirty old man who relishes the sight of two women hungrily exploring each others bodies with their probing, wet tongues, can you blame me? -- a filthy worm who thinks nothing of exploiting the female form in all its engorged, fecundate glory much like Lucy looks just about now, perhaps, yes -- a sniveling fraud only interested in promoting his incoherent ramblings to an unsuspecting audience who really considers him to be nothing more than binary excrement. NO! If you cut me, do I not bleed? If you show me a photo of Jessica Alba in chaps, will I not bust my pants' zipper open and embarrass myself?
I AM A MAN, DAMN YOU! Hear me roar!
May I please have the puppy?
Unfortunately, Lassie is no longer with Steve. That picture was taken in the late sixties. He did live a long, full life until Steve accidentally dropped a 200 kilogram dumb-bell on the poor pooch. This incident was in fact what caused Steve's nervous breakdown and you can see what he was reduced to in that photo on the previous post with Lou Ferrigno about to knock the shit out of him with his powerful fist.
Hey, wait a minute! What about those panties or is Olaf hogging them all for himself?
Olaf, is it me or are we the only two people in this blog?
I also never underestimated your intelligence. You have convinced me to switch to comment moderation. Bravo and well said.
But, how do you handle spam? That's one of the drawbacks, isn't it?
Now can you help me get some traffic happening on this thing?
Wonderful. Now I'm a homo.
Gee, Twixter, is it that obvious? There may have been a little distasteful episode a while back when I didn't quite pass the screenwriter muster. I believe I've moved on since then.
About that MBA? Forget it. You've been sucked into the screenwriting sink hole and it's futile trying to get out.
But, just for you, The John Molson School of Business is supposed to be cool. I would also try the Ecole des Haute Etude Commerciale or the HEC as we blokes call it.
That where I graduated...I mean, where I was considering taking film studies many moons ago. And it's there that I did my MBA before it was named after a famous beer.
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